A really bad case of...

Monday morning: the beginning of another work week for Mom and Dad and the third week of school for the kids.  However, this morning, Thing Two came down stairs and crashed on the couch looking like this:

Sobbing, the boy said his head hurt.  I felt his forehead but he didn't seem feverish.  I gave him motrin anyway.  Watching the clock, knowing we had 27 minutes until the school bus came, I ran upstairs and brought some clothes down in case he bounced back quick.  By the time I came downstairs he was moaning.  This is never a good sign.  I got a wash cloth and soaked it in cold water and put it on his forehead.  He complained he was nauseous so I got him the silver throw up bowl and he dry heaved into it a few times.  Tears streaming from his eyes, I decided I wouldn't put him on the bus and let him go back to sleep.  Could it be the boy had a concussion from the football game on Saturday?  Was he coming down with strep throat or did he have a migraine like Thing One sometimes gets?  Was it the beginning of Otitis Media (a dreaded ear infection)?  Or was it going to turn into a nifty GI thing with vomiting followed by icky diarrhea?

When I was home for six years after the twins were born; kicking back, eating bon bons, lounging around watching TV, it was no big deal to have a sick kid on a Monday morning.  However, since I work now (party is over!) as does Thing Two's father, this causes the two adults in our house to consider calendars and the importance of meetings (or whoever pulls the short straw).  Today I stayed home in the morning and Daddy came home to cover the afternoon shift.

Thing Two remained on the couch for much of the morning but then wandered to the computer later in the day.  Apparently he also ran an errand with Dad and helped put the pool cover on.  Then, when the boy heard the bus pulling up in front of the house to drop off his twin, he dashed back to the couch, slipped under the blankets, and began moaning.

It was then we were able to properly diagnose the illness d'jour.Thing Two had a really bad case of Fakeritis.

We were duped!  But it is hard to get too upset with the kid.  I've been known to take a Mental Health day a few times over the years and treat it with a little Retail Therapy.

Jocks

Thing One and Thing Two play a lot of sports all through the seasons. In the Winter they play basketball, in the Spring it is Baseball, Summer brings Lacrosse camp and this time of year, Fall, they began football. The equipment is overwhelming; helmets, chin guards, mouth guards, shoulder pads, knee pads, etc.

Protection is the name of the game. Which means, of course, in addition to all this other gear is the CUP - that really uncomfortable looking, hard plastic, doohickey that protects boy parts.

Since Thing One doesn't like the way the seam on his socks feel most days, you can imagine wearing a cup in his underwear was met with a lot of resistance. Thing Two, on the other hand, was happy to try this new equipment and then bang on it repeatedly to demonstrate it's effectiveness.

We have all different kinds of "cup holders" available to choose from for maximum comfort.  However, one year, Thing One chose to just slip it into a pair of boxers only to have it fall out and down his baseball pants while in the outfield - funny to watch from the bleachers but not an effective means of protection.

This year, on the football field, I am assured that all the equipment will fit properly and body parts will not be vulnerable.  The helmet has been adjusted by the coaches, and the knee pads repositioned after it was noted they weren't exactly over the knees, and now both Thing One and Thing Two adjust their CUPS about every two minutes.  Go Eagles!  Here's to a safe great season!

Mad Skills

Click here to view the Perry the Platypus Theme Song

Darling Daughter has decided what she would like to be for Halloween this year:  Agent P.  Who?  Yeah, I had to look it up too!  Apparently it is a character named Perry the Platypus, A.K.A. Agent P, from a cartoon called Phineas and Ferb.  

Darling Daughter is a bit obsessed with Perry and currently has pictures of the creepy dude him plastered in her middle school locker.  Last year it was Justin Bieber adorning this coveted tween space.  I am not sure what it means that Darling Daughter has moved on from a Canadian pop singer with boyish good looks, to a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action - but I am just the Mom in charge of sewing the costume.

Darling Daughter made a model of Perry, and a little platypus family, out of clay as inspiration for the costume I have a few weeks to design and produce:

Life was easier when I could just dress her up as a vegetable.

Of course I shouldn't complain.  I will slave night and day to make a suitable Platypus (dressed as a Secret Agent) costume.  This way I won't have to see Darling Daughter looking like she did last Halloween.



New Jewelry

When I was a kid the Physical Education teachers would pick the two most athletic kids to be Team Captains and then those kids would choose players for their teams.  I was always the last kid to be picked.  This was for a very good reason.  I sucked at sports.  I was also puny and deathly afraid of any ball tossed, thrown, kicked, chucked, batted, or rolled in my direction.

This meant I never, ever got a ribbon, a medal or a trophy.  My children have shelves stacked with trophies for basketball, baseball, football, softball, soccer, and more.  Needless to say I am jealous.  However today I got my first medal!  It is very cool and I am pretty proud of myself.

I ran, okay, well the truth is I ran and I walked and I ran and I walked and then walked some more but then I ran again...but bottom line is I COMPLETED a half marathon today.  For those of you who need numbers that is 13.1 miles.  And I did it in 2 hours 44 minutes and 59 seconds.  Which means I wasn't last!  Yayyy

Running so fast I am just a blurr!

According to Darling Daughter, my medal will go with every outfit!

Intern Available

And clearly Darling Daughter was able to pull off the arm full of crap bracelets to go with the leopard print bag, zebra striped converse, skinny jeans, cami, scarf and oops I forgot she also wore white sunglasses.  So attention folks at Vogue, Glamour, Marie Clarie or InStyle: Darling Daughter is available for an internship beginning Monday!

Back to School Style

I took my children back to school shopping this month. 

Each of them got a new pair of sneakers and a new outfit for the first day of school. 

The Senior in High School could really care less about clothing. I lucked out big time with Stud Boy! 

The twins, who are still in elementary school, are pretty easy too.  Thing One likes everything on the clothing racks in stores and Thing Two is pretty particular but we can still find at least something that meets with his approval. 

Darling Daughter, on the other hand, well she is a breed all her own.  A real fashionista! And of course it is middle school which means there are indeed different rules!!!

This year, for Darling Daughter, it is all about the cami under the t-shirt and the coordinating scarf and of course the zebra striped converse sneakers to go with the skinny jeans.  She also just had to have the leopard print book bag too. 

But my favorite is what the girl will be wearing on her arm tomorrow.  I will make my apologies now to the middle school teachers, some of whom I know.  I am truly sorry that you need to look at this.

You will notice how I chose to stomach the silly bandz, the duct tape bracelets, the glow stick bracelet (that no longer glows), the peace bracelet, and the mismatched nail polish...and I'm not talking about the bananas or nectarines.

Mrs. Neary

When Darling Daughter was born she opened her eyes, looked all around the operating room, checked out the Doctors and Nurses, took stock of the situation, let out a cry and then zoned in on me.

A few days later we left the hospital and went shopping at Antique stores and then out to lunch. She was, after all, not my first child and it was, indeed, summer...I was so not staying home. Darling Daughter watched and took note of every single person we came into contact with that day.

It began then, the realization that we were witness to the reincarnation of "Mrs. Neary".

Mrs. Neary was an old neighbor who lived next door to my husband's family when he was growing up. Mrs. Neary made it her business to watch all the neighbors comings and goings. This included my husband as a teenager "coming" in much too late at night through the basement window.

Mrs. Neary was then very happy to tell on him.



Think Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched for those of you old enough to remember that character! Darling Daughter became a Mrs. Neary almost from the moment she was born and has spent the last 12 years perfecting this charcter. She watches every single person within a 3 mile radius and and listens to every conversation, especially the ones that are not meant for children to hear. Like a little sneaky sponge!

We happen to live in the country and the one house that we can see from our home sits empty most of the year as the occupant travels year round. Therefore Darling Daughter A.K.A Mrs. Neary A.K.A Gladys Kravitz only has her immediate family to "get into their business".

She is the master at looking like she is engrossed in play with her Polly Pockets while she listens intently to the adult conversations in the kitchen.

I'm sure she is inconspicuously, although furiously, and accurately

taking notes.

I believe she may have a future with the CIA.