I am a vomit expert.
As the mother of four children I have had the opportunity to catch vomit in my hands many times. There have been countless days and nights when I had to hold hair back, clean out bowls, wipe mouths, wash sheets, wash walls, wash floors, wash doors, wash couches...you get the picture.
And if other people's vomit wasn't enough, then my own personal experience of vomiting makes me a "professional puker". I barfed so frequently throughout my pregnancy with Darling Daughter that I carried around a plastic pumpkin to puke in. My husband would take me out to eat and I would barely make it to the car before I lost dinner in the parking lot. While pregnant with the twins, I was diagnosed with hyperemisis and needed IV's and dark, cave like rooms...but lets not even go there.
BUT, lets talk about the really important kind of vomit: WORD VOMIT
According to Urban Dictionary, which is usually a reliable source, the definition for WORD VOMIT is:
* A point in a conversation where you say something that you really didn't mean to.
Urban Dictionary missed the mark a bit!
According to me, a Professional Puker, the definition for WORD VOMIT is:
*Spewing forth the ugly truth even if it is messy, foul, sometimes with tears, and just plain unattractive...but keeping it in, well you'll just feel nauseous all the time...
So I say, let it out!
I'll hold your hair back!
I share a unique experience with my oldest son...we have each cleaned up each other's vomit. Once when he was showing off a "man shot" a shot of tequilla, followed by snorting salt and squeezing a lemon in your eye....he tried this after a night of drinking and lost it...mom to the rescue. He returned the favor after a party at his house where his mother was over served on raspberry vodka and missed the toilet...I was mostly close. So its a family past time with us!!!
ReplyDeleteI have perfected the word vomit. It's a talent. What can I say.
ReplyDelete