Got Boobs?

It's vacation week and for me that means catching up on doctors appointments.  Yesterday I was able to get in to have my annual mammogram.  While some women dread doing this every year and/or avoid it like the plague, for me, it's no big deal.  I nursed four kids and that could have something to do with the fact that I don't care who sees or handles the girls (not to worry dear husband...I mean this in the maternal and medical sense, only).  In addition, being pressed between cold, hard plates just doesn't hurt me like it may some woman.  I'm not sure if this is because I happen to be somewhat small chested.  Okay, stop laughing sisters of mine, I am extremely small chested, or as one of my sisters described me, pre-pubescent.  Whatever!  I had nice boobies three times in my life and have pictures to prove it.  No need to scroll down though, folks, I didn't put them on the blog.

I was able to read one excellent article in Time magazine before I was called back to have the boobies squished.  The technician started off very friendly and pleasant, chatting about the holidays, and then it took a turn for the worst!  I was disrobing and grabbing the bar, following all her rules of  not breathing and not moving, etc...when she exclaimed, "wow, your boobs are even smaller than they were last year"!  OMG! Oh no she di'int!  Okay..the truth is she commented on the fact that I lost some weight in the last year and obviously some of it came out of the breasts.  Rats!  Why is it when we lose weight we can't decide where we'd like it to come off of?  Anyway, she got her damn pictures and I left there feeling deflated.  Ha!  DEFLATED!
 
After leaving the clinic I decided the best course of action was retail therapy which included a trip to Victoria's Secret.  Then I surfed the net later in the day and came across a cartoon that made me feel smug and so much better!

But I couldn't just leave well enough alone..more surfing and I also came across this cartoon.  Rats!

And I lied! Here is a great picture of me with FABULOUS breasts! 

So get 'em squished girls..they are all "fabby" even if they are flabby!

Merry Christmas Rusty!

OMG, OMG...is that really for me?

Yup, yup...it's Christmas!  Yayyyy

Love at first sight with the Santa Loofa!

Even while I chew on my rawhide I will keep my new BFF close.

OMG, another gift just for me?

A rubber cheeseburger!  It just doesn't get any better!!

Napping with all my Christmas gifts.  Oh Rusty, Merry Christmas.

Birdwatching

I will confess. I am a geek. I enjoy birdwatching.  I really, really enjoy it. It is an awesome hobby.

I love to identify all different kinds of birds when I am out walking.  Even when I am driving around, I look to the skies and to the trees for different species. In addition, we have a terrific bird feeder just outside the kitchen window that attracts all kinds of beautiful birds.  We regularly have wood peckers, including Red-bellied, Hairy, Downy and Flickers.  We see Blue Jays and Cardinals, Nuthatches, Black Capped Chickadees, Grosbeaks and so many more.

Imagine my excitement when I pulled in my driveway and saw a Merlin sitting in the snow by my bird feeder.  He was magnificent.  I quickly ran into the house and pulled out my camera to get a picture.

 Unfortunately there was a good reason he was sitting just under my bird feeder.

The bird watching geek in me actually spent some time inspecting the carnage to try and determine what kind of bird ended up to be this falcon's "lunch".

I may need a new hobby!

Very Superstitious

Pajamas on inside out.  

Ice cubes down the toilets.  

Spoons under the pillows. 

Stud Boy, Darling Daughter, Thing One and Thing Two are all sleeping with spoons under their pillows and their pajamas on inside out.  Darling Daughter was sure to flush an ice cube, or two or three, down the toilet.  

The kids are very hopeful there will be a snow day tomorrow. 

Ha!  No way.  

The plows are prepared and the schools are saving their "snow days" for some real snow!  

These antics are for naught. 

But it is rather funny to see a 17 year old senior wearing his pj's inside out!

Torture

They call it an Elizabethan collar, I call it torture!  My people might as well run the vacuum cleaner during a lightening storm, as those frightening activities don't even compare to this awful contraption. 

I cannot walk through a doorway without ricocheting off walls.
I feel like such a dork. 

Not only that, they keep shoving pills down my throat that make me dizzy and sleepy.  No wonder I keep running into furniture.
The raging headache is from that, not the pills.   

And I see them all snickering at me! 

Geesh...I promise I won't lick at my boo boo! 

Furthermore, if this group of humans, who all claim they adore me, dress up next Halloween with lampshades on their heads, I am hitching a ride to Lollypop Farm!

Country Living

Living in the country has it's perks.  It is quiet and peaceful.  There is plenty of space to play and lots of wildlife to enjoy.

Unfortunately, this time of year it has it's drawbacks.

Time to play in the back yard, boys.  Or get on your blaze orange.  Or just come inside during hunting season.  Yikes!

There's Nothing Like HOT CROSS BUNS!

Fall Leaves

Ahhh Fall! 

Multi-colored leaves.

A crisp breeze.

Free labor  kids who need to get out of the house 

for fresh air and exercise.

Remember when you were a kid and your Mom and Dad would hand you a battered old rake and send you to the yard to tackle the leaves blanketing the lawn?  We used to spend hours raking, forming blisters that would break and ooze on our pudgy little hands, as we made enormous piles.  We'd jump in the damp leaf piles and then have to rake all over again so we could fill the black plastic bags.  Then, carefully, we'd drag the bags all the way to the road, trying so hard not to tear a hole in them as we went.  If we were lucky we got a quarter for each bag. Sweaty, sore, and smelling like musty autumn leaves, we'd collapse on the floor in the family room.

So where did I go wrong as a parent?

Chin Up Buckaroo!

Stud Boy?

Stud Boy?

 Stud Boy!

While playing HARD CORE FULL CONTACT FOOTBALL, no wait...while playing ICE HOCKEY WITH 20 SOMETHING PUNKS, no wait... maybe it was a game of TAG in gym class...yup, that's it, TAG, Stud Boy got hit in the chin so hard the ER doctors were convinced he broke his jaw. Since the boy is a Stud, he didn't even feel the need to lie about how he really got the injury.  I would have at least embellished.  But whatever! 

The gory details included a laceration on the inside of his lower gum that was larger than a half dollar, opened to the muscle and took 12 stitches to close up.

Stud Boy may have a future in Hollywood, once he can open his mouth to smile, eat, speak... 

Poor Stud Boy! 

A Good Book

 

I cleaned the house on Sunday.  I was in the mudroom when I came across this ginormous spider I am sure was a tarantula.  It was in the recycle bin next to the empty water bottles.

As a child I was very fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful books.  My mother was a teacher and would read to us every night.  My father built a beautiful book case and it was at the top of the stairs filled with award winning children's books.  One of them was called, "Be Nice To Spiders" by Margaret Bloy Graham, published in 1967.  It was about a little spider left on the steps of a zoo by a boy who couldn't keep her anymore.  Helen, the spider, went from being loathed to being loved in the span of 30 pages after eating up all the flies at the zoo, making it a peaceful place.  It is because of this wonderful book that I took the hairy, man-eating tarantula outside very carefully to live in our back yard, instead of in our mudroom.

Another favorite book of mine was "The Mouse and the Motorcycle" by Beverly Cleary, published in 1965.  The mouse, Ralph, lives in a hotel and rides around on a boy's toy motorcycle. Ralph saves the day by getting medicine for the boy.  A real hero, this mouse Ralph.

Today I sat in the living room working at my computer.  This came out from behind the couch.

I immediately called the hubby at work and told him to come home with this:



 and this:

If you are looking for me tonight, I will be here:

Reading this:

Career Choices

This is a picture of Stud Boy and his beautiful cousin at a College Visit.   We have spent a number of weekends visiting area colleges to decide where these High School seniors would like to apply.  Beautiful Cousin is considering a career in marketing.  Nice!

Stud Boy is undecided.  You know, that's okay...at 17, how do you know what you really want to do with the rest of  your life?

At 9, you know.  Thing One wants to be a Professional Football Player and Thing Two wants to be an Artist.  I know what you are thinking....you hope I have a pretty big nest egg and long term health care insurance that will pay for a decent nursing home and life time supply of Depends since the odds of those two supporting me in my old age is slim to none.

So the responsibility, as it should be, falls to the one and only daughter.  In this case, Darling Daughter.  When the discussion around the kitchen table is what major Stud Boy is leaning towards, Darling Daughter pipes in that she will be going to college and studying Mythology.  She plans on being a Mythologist.  Great!  I'm sure there is a high demand for that job and it earns a great living!  I'm hoping she can get a job at snopes.com.

I think I better start playing the lottery.

Did you?

Grow one for the Team!

Here's a group already working on their Playoff Beards.  Go Sabres!

Candy Warning?!

I read this article today about the most dangerous Halloween candy.  As a huge fan of Halloween candy I was intrigued.  What could be so dangerous about yummy, chocolaty, and sugary mini packages of goodness?  This article ranked the 40 most dangerous candies on the market today.  I was shocked at number one on the list.  It was a Twix candy bar.

Seriously?  How can this be dangerous?  It is made with a crispy crunchy cookie, smooth creamy chocolate, and delicious chewy caramel.  I have eaten thousands hundreds dozens a few Twix bars in my day, and not once have I chipped a tooth or had my tongue get stuck to the roof of my mouth.  So again tell, me how can this be the most dangerous?

I went through the entire list and didn't find the one candy I thought for sure would be there: the candy that nearly killed my sister Katie many years ago.  In fact, it's a miracle she is still with us decades later.

Here is a picture of my sister Katie.  What nearly killed her wasn't the pole you see sticking out of the top of her head.  Turns out she has a pretty hard head.  Instead, it was indeed candy that almost took the life of my dear sister.

It may look innocent enough:

But it turns out when you dump an entire paper straw full of fine powdery sugar into your mouth at the same time you inhale a deep breath...the world's most dangerous candy, combined with the moisture in your mouth, clumps in the back of your trachea, forming a rock hard ball.. 

The details of that day are sketchy.  I was younger and obviously scarred by watching my sister choke, but I think what saved her was her hysterical reaction to no longer being able to breath.  I think she must have run towards the house but instead she ran her head smack dab into a tree knocking the Pixie Stick coagulated ball of sugary goodness out of her throat.

Mom wouldn't allow any of us to have Pixie Sticks after that.  I guess she thought we'd all inhale like Katie did.  Even though experience has proven I can safely eat all any candy on the market.