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Sunday, November 20, 2011

BASIC MATH

Thing Two got $20 dollars from the tooth fairy last Monday night (and no, Mom hadn't been drinking wine before bed!)

However, right now it happens to be wine-thirty while Mom is blogging, so let's take a minute and consider this graph about the cost of raising a child from birth to age 18.


And for those of you who know me well, you know that math just isn't my thing.  However, even I can read this chart and know those are some big numbers.  OMG! and I have how many kids?  It's very clear that the cost of raising a child is increasing (evident by the angry red line going up like the giant hill on one of my workouts.)

So it doesn't really make sense (or in this case: cents) when CNN reports that the Tooth Fairy is pinching penny's in this sagging economy.  The survey found that the going rate for a single tooth has seen a 40-cent decline this year: from $3.00 to $2.60!

Because, at our home the tooth fairy is going broke! 

It used to be that in our country farm house, in the dead of night (or at least shortly after 8 pm),  the tooth fairy left $2.00 per tooth.  This seemed like a reasonable reward for a lost tooth, since it was plenty for a child of 10 years of age to be excited about and yet it wasn't enough to break the bank.  Then, for some reason that is a little foggy right now, the old Gal with the silvery wings left two bills and a gold Sacajawea coin.  This began the reign of the "two bills and one gold coin tradition" that seemed harmless at the time until the evenings when a tooth fell out unexpectedly and the search was on for the frantic Fairy to find a dollar coin in the couch cushions, car ash trays and even Stud Boy's wallet.

Why then, in this economy, is Thing Two holding a crisp $20 from the tooth fairy?

Here is why...


But wait!  There's more...


So if you are counting gaping holes...that's six!


So let's do the math, Mommy style:

6 teeth in 5 treasure boxes divided by 45 minutes in a dentists chair, as multiple tears stream down the face of a very brave 10 year old = equals the amount of money this mother would pay to relieve the pain and suffering of her youngest child!  While the answer is 10 million dollars or more, the "Tooth Fairy" settled on $3.00 x 6 teeth = $18.00 rounded up to $20.00 + a Wendy's Frosty, a ton of sympathy and great big hugs!

All the graph's, charts, and surveys cannot begin to convey the true cost of a child because it just doesn't even matter.  You see, having children makes me the richest person in the world.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Trick or Treat Smell My Feet...









Related Posts with ThumbnailsHalloween used to rock! I loved, loved, loved making costumes and dressing up my kids for the school parades and then going to parties and dragging them out on a chilly and rainy night, trick or treating until they whined that they were cold and tired of walking and just wanted to go home. 

Gone are those days when I could dress them in whatever I wanted, like a sweet princess type dress on Darling Daughter, or matching costumes on Thing One and Thing Two.  Gone are the school Halloween parades, even.   WTH?

Then there was Stud Boy and his darn food allergies which made Halloween tricky, but it also meant we could legitimately eat all his candy!  We just had to pay him a nickle a piece.  But now that the kids are older, this favorite Holiday of mine has lost a whole lot of it's appeal.  Rats!

I remember the years I spent weeks and weeks making costumes for Thing One and Thing Two dressing them up as Captain Hook and Peter Pan.   They were so freakin' cute!  Really adorable! And the year that Darling Daughter was excited about putting on a dress to be a tooth fairy and Stud Boy was psyched to be a Pokemon card.  I was able to craft and sew into the wee hours of the night before Halloween until my fingers were numb. Now, however, I need to beg my children to even dress up.  I need to pull out all the bins of costumes and coax them into at least consider wearing something.  "I will make you anything you want to be" I promise.  Only to be met with, "Do we even have to dress up, Mom".  WTH?  Ummmm yes kiddies, if  you want candy you need to dress up.  Alarmingly they replied, "Not really sure we even want to trick or treat this year, Mom".  WHAT?  No candy?  No mini Kit Kat bars, or Dum Dums?  No miniature Milk Duds for me to sneak from Halloween bags and have stick to my molars as I try and scarf them down while my kids aren't looking.  NO WAY!  I didn't birth four kids to be cheated out of Halloween before it's time.  And frankly, it's not time!  So pick a costume and get out there and don't come back until you find me a Mallo Cup! Just saying...

This year my Darling Daughter is 13 years old and it's all about the Slutbagwhore (as I like to call it) costume for girls of any age, really.  I caved in and agreed to some inappropriate skirt, however she had to wear leggings on under it and a turtle neck under the low cut tank top.  Man does Mom ever take the fun out of the teenage years!

Thing One and Thing Two wanted to be the "Bandanna Brothers".  What?  I don't know what that means and I wasn't terribly impressed with their creativity and of course I wanted to make entire costumes out of bandanna's for them or convince them to be pirates or robots or super heroes,  but basically I think they just wanted to look all "gangsta like".  So again, I caved and got some bandanna's and they tied them on to appease me and called it a "costume".  Ugh.


However, this year, since Stud Boy was in Boston having a nifty reaction to a piece of candy and Darling Daughter was inviting some boy to trick or treat with us as she attempted her "sexy" costume and the boys settled on some lamo last minute, "I guess we have to wear something" costume.  I decided I wouldn't hinge my Halloween Happiness on any of them and dress up myself.  So dress up I did!


Wearing the wedding dress I was saving for Darling Daughter that she declared, "I'm sorry Mom, but that is hideous" - I rocked out the Zombie Bride look for Halloween this year.  Unfortunately, there wasn't a Mallo Cup in sight.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Bikes Schmikes



Related Posts with ThumbnailsThe rest of the world might be eking out the last few days of summer like weather, but along with the stores, my son has moved right past summer, past Halloween and even Thanksgiving too.

His thoughts are on Christmas and here is his list (so far):

Doesn't every 10 year old boy want one of these instead of say, legos?

Or one of these, instead of maybe a bike?
And while other 5th graders may want a playstation game or xbox, mine wants one of these...
And seriously, I may put a "well-trained Monkey" on my list too, I assume it does dishes!

I think that you will find this style will replace the "flat-hat" popular style now that just looks "gangsta" to me anyway.  I will let Santa know this is a big thumbs up.
And this is just an obsession of my 10 year old.  He is looking to be the next yo-yo champion of the world and has perfected a number of tricks far beyond "walking the dog".  I just wish he would walk the dog.
I don't think I need to worry that these gift ideas will be flying off the Toys R Us shelves so I will enjoy some of fall before I get started on my shopping.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

En plein air

Thing One wants to be an artist when he grows up.  I get this, totally!  I did too.  In fact, I remember my Aunt Marge giving me books on painting and beautiful art supplies when I was a child.  I majored in art in high school and while I never did become an "artist", I still enjoy painting every now and again.  Instead of using the crayola paints in the little pots, I have begun to let my 10 year old use my "good paints" and I took my budding artist out Saturday evening to paint.  The French expression is en plein air which means "in the open air" and describes the act of painting outdoors. There really is nothing like it.

So we packed up our acrylic paints and our brushes along with paper towels and cups for water and off we went in search of a location.  Fortunately for us, within a few miles of our house is a spot Monet would be jealous of.  Every year a local farmer plants a fabulous crop of sunflowers.  This field was in full bloom a few weeks ago and I wanted very much to take my kids there to photograph them in it, but of course they balked at the idea.  However, my little artist was willing to paint it along with me and much to our surprise another painter was already there.  He was working in oils and began at 5 AM he told me, putting on his first layer of paint.  My little partner and I only had about an hour before the sun would set.  The young man who was working on the glorious, large oil painting had a wonderful easel that he told us his mother bought him when he was 11.  Guess what Thing One has added to his Christmas list?

As we set up our spot on the field's edge, me on the ground and Thing One at his easel (aka music stand), the sky began to get very moody as Hurricane Irene moved up the east coast. My partner only saw blue sky though and my sky kept changing it's mind on what color it would end up to be.

Our fellow plein air artist stopped to chat with us and we learned that he was from Indiana and currently a medical student at the U of R.  Painting, he said, was a hobby.

I think Thing One has learned that he doesn't have to limit his career choice to just being an artist, last week after we went to a carnival, he told me he thought he might like to be a clown when he grows up.

I hope he considers medical school as well!









Easel schmeasel.. my lap works just fine.


Settled on some pink in the sky.

Thing One's summer paintings.
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Friday, July 22, 2011

You Should See the Other Guy...

As the mother of four very active kids I am very used to the bumps, bruises, scrapes, and falls that come along with childhood.  I am calm and collected when someone needs a little ice, band aid, stitches or a cast.  If you follow this blog, you know my kids do goofy things like swallow coins or put beans in their ears, but I pride myself on my ability to handle all the "emergencies" that come along with having kids.  In fact, I do really well when we have to rush to the emergency room for an allergic reaction, even while on vacation in Boston.

However, there is one thing as a mother I don't handle terribly well.  There is one injury that makes my heart skip a beat and my head spin. 



My beautiful Darling Daughter, with the smile that lights up a room, fell at drama camp this week. 

This one was a show-stopper!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Mom

A year or so ago I blogged about my daughter wanting to marry heart throb Justin Bieber, famous for his "bieberish" hair.

She adored this teen pop sensation which annoyed me so much.

Now I have him living with me!


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The Justin Bieber “fringe” haircut is the hottest look right now for tween/teen boys. It is really all the rage and has completely taken on a life of its own. One of my twins, who is 10, wears his hair in this style every day. The look is cut shorter in the back and longer in the front, which is the exact opposite of popular cuts for boys in the past years. The cut is very top heavy with long layers. It’s called “The Flow” or “Twitch” (like you are twitching and flipping your hair out of your eyes) and has been described as “long bangs for boys.”

Frankly it just makes me twitch.

I find myself saying to him everyday, "get your hair out of your face, I want to see your eyes!"

It used to make me cringe when I would say something like that and the minute I said it I could hear my own mother's voice saying it a thousand times to me or my sisters growing up.  Now I just chuckle.

Thanks Mom, I cherish your words and all the memories - and my kids will do the same someday. 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Hubby

This is my husband.  I know what you are thinking, "Wow, you hit the jackpot with this handsome guy"!   In this "life-like" drawing, he is wearing his new glasses.  And while his arms may be coming out of his head, they are great for throwing around a baseball or strumming a guitar. He has a terrific smile and we can easily over look the fact that he has bird feet.  

Thanks Ally-boo for drawing such a great picture of "Mar Mar"!
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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Darling Daughter!


Yesterday was the last day of school and every year the kids come home with bags of school work that I sort through and decide what gets tossed and what gets kept.  I used to keep just about everything.  However, with four kids times 13 years of school (even more since I also keep stuff from the preschool years) that's a lot of "stuff" and I am working really hard at not being a hoarder!  Anyway, Darling Daughter had three enormous bags filled when she emptied her locker!  I was methodically going through it all last night and I am so glad I did because I came across a poem she wrote about her brother, Stud Boy, this year:


Living in the Shadows
Poem by "Darling Daughter", grade seven

Living in the shadows
Of a boy who exceeds
In everything he tries
And everything he does

Living in the shadows 
Of the boy who does
The most and knows
The most.

Living in the shadows
Of the boy who doesn't
Get in any trouble
Who knows right from wrong
But I do not

Living in the shadows
is hard trying to live up to
What he has left
Trying to do what he has done

But I am me, not him.

I will live in my own shadow
The shadow for those to follow
My knowledge
My words
Will be for those who must 
Live in my shadow

Not my brother who is the boy
Who knows it all and knows
How to use it
But know,

I will live in my own shadow. 

While Stud Boy, who graduates this year and is off to college, is pretty amazing.  Darling Daughter is SPECTACULAR!  Just look at her: she shines so bright and has never been, nor could ever be in anyone's shadow.   

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Number 13

Darling Daughter turns 13 in less than thirty days!
She was happy to remind me of this fact in the car the other day.  
Thirteen? 
How is that even possible?   
Guess what she wants for her birthday? 


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A Face Book account!
Ugh!
Yes, I know it's free,
but I'd rather get her some clothes, a new baseball glove,
nail polish even, 
but this...
My BABY on Face Book?!
Just the thought makes me cringe.