Sesame Street

One of these things is not like the other,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?



The answer:

The blue bowl is meant to mix a cake, serve a potato salad, or put popcorn in.

The silver bowl and the clear plastic bowl are both used to puke, vomit, hurl or barf in.




"Darling Daughter" with the silver bowl
"Thing 1" with the clear bowl
"Thing 2" with a fever

Totally Beast

OMG, one of the twins looks like a Bratz doll.

This self expression thing is for the birds!

And just in case you are so uncool like me that you don't know what "totally beast" means...

According to Darling Daughter it means "coolio"

Still clueless? I guess it's just like, totally awesome, like, really rad!

Real Therapy

After last night, this is the therapy I am in need of today!

Bacon Therapy

The average price of counseling is $150 - $200. With the rising cost of health care I thought I would share with you the reasonable therapy that I utilize. It only costs me $5.40 a week. Yep, you read that right, $5.40 a week! It's the best damn therapy around.

My therapy has changed over the years. It used to be a larger group therapy session that included 3 women and a princess. Then we added another woman and a baby. Now it's down to just two women. We are die hard therapy addicts, if you will.

It started at the Perkins Institute of Rehabilitation, then it moved to the Denny's Organization for Mental Health and Well-Being. For the past few years it has been at Dr. Bob Diner's. I would highly recommend his practice. Not only is the wait time very reasonable, the ambiance and decor is unique and calming. In fact the plastic poinsettia's still bloom in July!

Arm of God

"Stud Boy", the 17 year old, is currently taking Driver's Education which means he knows far more than I do about driving! I don't stop correctly at the stop signs and I put my blinker on too late or sometimes too early and I should be checking my mirrors way more often.

Basically, he claims, I have no business having a driver's license! Never mind that I have been driving for close to 30 years with a sparkling clean license, drove a school bus for a few years, and currently I am a full time Taxi driver during the summer.

Well, the other day I picked Stud Boy up from the lecture that follows his Student Driving time and he shared with me some unsettling and clearly inaccurate information. He explained to me that the guest speaker told them that when the driver, a.k.a. "Mom", needs to slam on the breaks because the jackass in front of her stops abruptly...she should REFRAIN from quickly forcing her right arm in front of the passenger to ensure that they do not fly into the windshield.

By taking both hands off the steering wheel, she is putting herself, her passenger, and others in danger and that the force of the impending crash equals the mass multiplied by acceleration...blah, blah, blah.

Clearly Stud Boy and the Guest Lecturer are not familiar with the Arm of God that automatically reaches down and instinctively forces mother's arm to risk life and obvious limb to guarantee that their passengers do not move, roughly, three inches that they would normally go forward during an abrupt stop.

Stud Boy should just say, "Thank you, Mother Dearest"!

.

What's with the hair?

From the Online Slang Dictionary:
emo
(adjective)
overly emotional or melodramatic
from the musical genre "emo"
God, she's being so emo!

Guess who turns 12 on Saturday? Yep, Darling Daughter!

Wot Eva!

Growing up in the 1970's, my brother and I spent hours laying on the floor in the living room listening to records. My children don't even know what vinyl LP records are, nor do they appreciate the time we spent pain stakingly trying to determine the correct lyrics to our favorite songs!

As I was walking through my own house the other day singing a song I had recently heard on the radio...la la la "I wanna be a millionaire so freaking bad" la la la....

My Darling Daughter interrupted me and said, "OMG, Mom you are singing it ALL WRONG" ...emphasized with as much eye rolling as humanly possible!

"First of all", she snarked, "it's not millionaire, it's billionaire and it's not freaking, it's fricking!"

Okay, I will give Darling Daughter the fact that it is indeed billionaire, although I would, indeed, be happy with being a millionaire. However we did have some discussion time on whether it was freaking or fricking. Is fricking even a word, BTW?

Having internet access at your finger tips takes away the joy of laying on the floor for hours and hours listening to a song over and over, straining your ears to get the word just right...but Wot Eva! So all the Lyrics are right there on the world wide web, and sure enough the non explicit lyrics do say fricking...although I swear I hear freaking..and truth be told it is really F*ing!

But then Darling Daughter keeps singing the song and I hear her sing...

La la la "I wanna be on the cover of Forkes magazine" la la la.

What? What did you just sing?" I chuckle. She sings, "I wanna be on the cover of Forkes magazine. Why?". OMG! I roll my eyes, because folks, I perfected that eye rolling thang more than 30 years ago! "It's not Forks", I say, "It's Forbes" and then I have to go on the Lyrics website to prove it to her.

God it's so good to be right once in a while.