The Physical

My twin boys recently turned 9 years old. With every birthday comes the obligatory trip to the pediatricians office for the yearly physical. Like a good mom I make sure that the boys have a bath the night before and scrub behind their ears. I get them up early, make sure they eat a healthy breakfast and send them up to their rooms to get dressed so we can leave for the morning appointment. They bolt down the stairs and I give them the once over to make sure they are wearing clothes that: A. are clean, B. are suitable for the weather and, C. don't have holes in the knees. This is what a good mom does. I have four kids so I consider myself an experienced mother. I am feeling pretty proud of myself for getting out the door with minimal fuss, no drama and even on time.


We get to the doctor's office and the nurse takes us back to have each boy stand on the scale for weight and height measurements. Then she takes us into a room and takes the boys blood pressure and pulse. All is well. They have grown and are just perfect. I'm not even saying this because I'm their mom either! Then the nurse says, okay boys take off everything except your underwear and socks, put on a gown, and the doctor will be right in.



She leaves and both boys shoot me a look that could stop traffic. "What?" I say. "We do this every year, so just take off your clothes and put on the gowns." The one boy begins to get undressed and the other bursts into tears. I am shocked. "Honestly what is the big deal", I continue, "you can keep your underwear on." This is when my darling child sobs, "But I'm not wearing any underwear!"



As a mother who prides herself on always being prepared I immediately reach down to grab the diaper bag and then instantly remember that I haven't carried one of those in about 7 years. Rats! Then I think, well wait, one of these kids has underwear on....maybe I can take it off of him and put it on the other kid, then do a quick switch-a-roo when the doctor's back is turned....oh hell, never mind. At least I scrubbed behind their ears. That has to count for something!