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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ho Hum So Glum



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The dog is depressed.

I have asked, but he won't tell me why he is so blue.

I am certain the moping is because he wants us to get

a new puppy for him to play with.

Monday, June 21, 2010

You Asked For It!!!

Living in the country has it's perks. You can basically run around naked and nobody cares. However, when we have company we try and at least put some clothes on. At a recent picnic, a dear friend was over and took off his shirt showing his belly. We were all impressed! I even wondered if it compared to mine when I was 9 months pregnant with Darling Daughter. I will let you be the judge, but I think he has me beat!

Friday, June 18, 2010

My Mom, Bush, Obama, and Me

I remember thinking how uncool my mom was when she would dance around the kitchen to music from WEZO, or when she would embarrassingly call out to the birdies at the top of her lungs when family or friends were around..."Birrrrrdiessssss....." OMG I wanted to crawl under a table.

Well, I guess I have turned into my mother. Not only am I uncool, I am also embarrassing too. When did this happen? Ughhh

Here is how I know: Darling Daughter's Principal called me to tell me there had been an "incident" at school. This is never a good word from that source!

It seems as though Tony Idontknowhislastname whacked her over the head with a stack of books.

After much discussion, it was concluded that the boy still has it "bad" for our girl. So instead of showing his affection in a way that landed him a stint in the time out room, I suggested other ways he could show her he cares. I told Darling Daughter a better choice would have been a tap on the shoulder, a high five or an exploding fist bump - to which my daughter rolled her eyes. Clearly she was letting me know just how uncool I had become.

I really thought I was hip like Bush and Obama! Shucks!


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Gender-Neutral



Related Posts with ThumbnailsA gender-neutral toilet is a great idea for a public restroom. These facilities allow parents with children of the opposite sex to bring them into a washroom, comfortably. Also, people with disabilities who need assistance to use the restroom can have a helper who may be of the opposite sex. Finally, for people who are gender-variant, these bathrooms make it much easier to negotiate the use of a public restroom.

However when you have a 3rd grader who may struggle with deciphering a new word, these can be tricky.

I sent the boys to the bathroom in my building where I work. They ran down the hall and one of the twins stopped dead in his tracks! When he got to the bathroom door he shouted, "Mom, I can't go in there, it says UN SEX!".

I almost peed my pants!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Ding, Ding, Ding



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While sitting on my parents back porch last night we heard the ding, ding, ding of the ice cream truck on a nearby street.

Because our own house is in the country, my children, who were outside playing at the time, didn't even react to this distinct ringing sound.

However, my husband looked at me with a glint in his eye and we both started digging for our money.

We rounded up our kids and flew to the end of the driveway to wait in anticipation for the ice cream man to come around the corner.

The little white truck inched just past my Mom and Dad's house and came to a stop. My kids caught on quickly to the task at hand and studied the many pictures of ice cream treats plastered on the side of this dented and slightly rusty vehicle.

I knew exactly what I wanted and didn't even have to glance at the weathered stickers. I shouted out my request, "A Buried Treasure, please!" To which the Ice Cream Man burst out laughing and said, "Hey you must be as old as me! They haven't had those since I was a kid."

Why did they ever stop making those rasberry sherbet like ice cream treats on a plastic stick? After you licked it all gone, you were thrilled to discover the buried treasure inside!

My husband tried to order a Screw Ball: the upside down, dixie cup cone shaped treat with the gumball in the bottom. No such luck there either. We really are old!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Fly Me To The Moon

We are driving in the car, where all important conversations take place, and one of the twins says to me, "so you get taller when you are in outer space, right?"

Let me begin by sharing that while I know nothing about outer space, my initial reaction was, "Ummmm No! Duh? Are you even for real?"

However, some days my Mommy hat is on pretty straight and especially because his very competitive twin was sitting next to him in the car, and because I didn't want to make the boy feel foolish, I said, "gee, I don't know"...and thankfully the subject moved on to Pokemon' of which I also know nothing about.

However, after talking to a friend who knows a lot of useful information, it was suggested that the boy may indeed be spot on! "What? Are you even for real?"

So, like a good Mom in the 21st century, I googled it. And indeed, you do get taller when you are in outer space.

Two freakn' inches taller. OMG. What my own petite (A.K.A very short) mother would have given to have been able to live in outer space!

But wait, that's not all! In doing my very scientific research on Google...I also found out that you do not snore in space. Let me just put that in bold and capital letters for you, YOU DO NOT SNORE IN OUTER SPACE.

According to the experts, earthly snoring occurs when gravity pulls the tongue and soft tissues in the rear of your mouth backward. In microgravity, the tongue and the jaw do not fall back in the throat, so there is less airway obstruction in space.

What these means in plain English is that if your spouse or significant other snores and it bothers you...ship them off to the moon!